Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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