Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
