I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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