you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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