"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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