i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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