got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
