i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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