so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
