All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How naked do you want me to be?
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