I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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