Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
