Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
home. puking in laundry basket.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
