White coat. Heels.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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