NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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