I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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