I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize