I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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