Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
