i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
