covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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