these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
