thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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