we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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