He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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