You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
