my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
