3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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