I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize