For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Randomize
