Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize