I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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