we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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