Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
