Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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