He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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