Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
