My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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