i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
