Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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