But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
