Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
