there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was confusing and full of hummus
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
