I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
