We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
