DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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