is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
