By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
