Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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