what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
