Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize