I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
