Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
