he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
