My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize