just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
