Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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