Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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