I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
