Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize