you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she told me i tasted like america
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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