Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
