if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
