the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize